Eight Pillars of Joy: Generosity

It is in giving we receive
A person is a person through other people
Reach down and lift others up

The Dead Sea receives fresh water, but because there is no outlet for that water, no way for the Sea to give away that which it has gained, it becomes stagnant and dead. (1) Humans can be much the same as the Dead Sea if we keep what we have been given and do not give to others our knowledge, resources, time, or money. This is why most organized religions call for some kind of charity, to help one another in any way possible.

Your wealth and status are not important, it’s what you do with your wealth and status that means everything. Archbishop Desmond Tutu says, “When you become so inward looking, so self-regarding, you are going to end up a shriveled human being.” But always remember that you are not meant to carry the weight of the world alone, we are meant to do it together. Your joy, as well as your time and energy, is a gift. It shows others that being generous is not a burden and has the power to call them to action wherever and however they can help.

Generosity strengthens relationships, and has been known to give people longer and healthier lives. According to the World Happiness Report from 2015, the quality of our relationships is a strong predictor of our well-being (2). Elizabeth Dunn’s research says people are happier when they spend their money on others rather than themselves. Another recent study shows that giving to people we know are in need can soothe the part of our brain that kicks off the Fight-Flight-or-Freeze Response. (3) Generosity doesn’t have to mean giving money or physical objects like clothing or food. Spending time at a soup kitchen or with those who are housebound and don’t have many visitors is a great way to do good and lift everyone’s spirits.

Happiness is also about having a sense of purpose, a way in which we can give to others that makes us feel needed. In South Africa, Archbishop Desmond Tutu met a woman who only had a three room house and few resources. When she saw orphaned children living on the streets she knew she had to take them in. There were nearly one hundred children and she felt a purpose calling her to action even though she lacked enough resources to make it work. Once others saw what she was doing, they came forward to help build a dormitory and donated food for the children.

Generosity is a combination of all eight pillars of joy: In being generous you see outside of yourself for a wider perspective of the world. Our humility brings us back down to earth, reminding us to give to others in their time of need as we would hope for them to give to us when our time of need arises. Looking outside of ourselves, we do not take ourselves too seriously, and find humor in the hiccups of our lives. Humor brings us to an acceptance of life as it is. Acceptance brings us to forgiveness of others so that we may move forward. We then acquire a gratitude for what we already have, that is easily turned into a compassion to help others in any way that we can, no matter how big or small. That compassion brings us at last to our generosity of spirit, a giving of our time, knowledge, or material goods to help those in need.

“In fact, taking care of others, helping others, ultimately is the way to discover your own joy and to have a happy life.” - His Holiness the Dalai Lama, The Book of Joy

Exercise

• Do you have any causes you're passionate about or groups you want to help? Take some time to research some local organizations for volunteer and donation opportunities. Share with the group if you feel comfortable. Some ideas may include organizations like animal rescues, disaster relief groups, or performing arts groups. Search GuideStar’s Directory of Charities and Nonprofit Organizations for more ideas. Check the status of an organization on GuideStar for more information about them.

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