Eight Pillars of Joy: Acceptance
Peace comes from within
Do not fight reality
Accept your life in all it’s pain, imperfection, and beauty
“Be your own kind of beautiful.”
One way to let go of stress and anxiety is to loosen our expectations of life, accept that the journey may not go according to plan, and the destination might not be what we were hoping for. While you should still strive to set and reach your goals, it’s important to remember that often whether or not we reach them depends on factors outside of our control.
Recognizing that something doesn’t conform to our ideas of justice or fairness, can cause us varying levels of distress. As an example, when Edith Eva Eger was in a concentration camp during World War II, the acceptance of her situation allowed her to be curious as to what would happen next, which was often the only thing that helped to keep her going, even when she was buried under a pile of dead bodies.
Stress and anxiety also arise from how we react to things that have happened, or something someone has said to us. Reaction to negativity can lead to criticism, denial, and despair, whether directed at ourselves or others. When you accept that negative and terrible things can, do, and will happen, you open yourself up to a place where change can begin, within yourself and out in the greater world.
“We are meant to live in joy. This does not mean that life will be easy or painless. It means that we can turn our faces to the wind and accept that this is the storm we must pass through. We cannot succeed by denying what exists. The acceptance of reality is the only place from which change can begin.” - Archbishop Desmond Tutu, The Book of Joy.
Exercises
- Was there ever an instance where accepting an uncomfortable truth helped you make changes to improve your circumstances?
- Is there something happening right now in your life that could use a little acceptance? Think about what it would mean to accept the reality of the situation. How do you see your mood improving or a change occurring?